This weekend, like 9 weeks ago, reality came crashing down on me like a hurricane, I think my life is shit but it’s nothing compared to what I have witnessed in those short weeks.
Firstly at the start of December last year, we lost Jim’s cousin to suicide, in the most horrible way you could imagine and it’s broken his parents beyond repair, their beautiful son, gone for good and why? why did he feel his life wasn’t worth living? We don’t know the reasons why, we may never know but I know one thing, mental health is a fucker and wish as you might “I wish I saw the signs” etc, hindsight is a wonderful thing but hindsight won’t bring this human being back, it’s something that should never have happened, something we wish we could have prevented but we couldn’t, we didn’t and for that his parents will be in torture for the rest of their lives. This puts my shit life right to the back of the field, like we are talking in the fucking bushes. But one thing we can do from this is we can use the signs he was displaying, the words he was using, the techniques he was using to hide his problems and try and help others, if we can save one life from Richard’s death, we might not have been able to save him but if we can help another family not suffer the same pain we have then he won’t have died for nothing.
I never met Richard and I felt awful on the day of his funeral for crying with Jim, I have never wanted to take someones pain away from them as much as Jim and the rest of his family, how his brother, father and most importantly his mother had the strength to stand up and talk to everyone the way she did was heart wrenching, it was the day before Christmas Eve and usually around that time, the drinks are flowing and everyone is having a great time but that afternoon at the wake, drink was flowing and their was laughter but with so much sadness of what we had witnessed earlier that day. I had never been to a funeral that was standing room only, Richard was so loved, I hope he was looking down seeing everyone that came out for him, to say goodbye to this sweet young man. This family I have found myself, in the short space of time is amazing and so close I have never experienced anything like it, his parents will pull through because their is a fantastic support network around them and they can take away the fact they had 27 wonderful years with Richard, unlike the next thing that has summed up my life this past weekend….
In the past month campaign has been running in my hometown, to try and raise £250000 to save a little girl, whose only treatment was available in America, a whole community came together and raised well past what they needed, with more fundraisers organised but sadly, she passed away early Saturday morning, she was just two years old, she had diagnosis at just 16 months old with stage 4 neuroblastoma, ever since then little Flo had fought hard but sadly she just couldn’t do it anymore and her little body could take no more, again like Richard she is out of pain and hopefully dancing in the stars, Richard if you read this can you please look after Flo for when her parents can join her again? I know it’s a silly thing to ask on a blog that a dead person is never going to read but isn’t it a nice thought that these two troubled, pain free souls meeting and him looking after her, or taking her to where she needs to be? it makes me feel better thinking this.
So yeah, my shit life is nothing compared to these two families fighting pain every single fucking day, fuck mental health and fuck cancer.
Fly high the pair of you xx
If you need help or think someone needs help: http://www.mind.org.uk
To donate to Flo fight: https://www.facebook.com/Flosfight