Was it? was it fuck! It all started about a month ago, I got the ‘letter’ stating my car tax was ready to renew… Oh was it? I wasn’t aware the that I was going to be rinsed for over £250 for the privilege of driving on roads with fucking pot holes in!!!
So I decide a direct debit was the way forward for us, remember I am trying hard not to use the bank of mum and dad, I set the direct debit (this way it’s over £300!) to come out of my account, which was all well and good when I set it up, I was assured my bloody sales job was going to last longer than the two weeks trial (I was shit at sales, didn’t make one in two weeks, mind you who actually want’s palette wrap that hasn’t already got a supplier?!), I fill my car up with fuel using the rather useful ‘pay at pump’ method, even if you don’t have money in your account (as long as you have £1 you are fine) you can fill your car up to £99 worth of fuel, bellends whoever came up with that Idea!
A few days later I suddenly start to panic that I am not actually going to clear what I spent on fuel by the time the first payment comes out, so I call the DVLA up, I always love speaking the them as they are welsh and if Jim had a welsh accent I would be in absolute heaven! “cancel the direct debit” oh you can hear that lovely twang now can’t you, “use your log book to reset it back up again” so that’s what I did, assuming my log book was in my car that was currently having it’s MOT, get the car back, it’s nowhere to be fucking found!!! call them up again on the Monday and well, now it’s Thursday and I’ve only just got it sorted, this was after I looked like a complete blonde/ginge trying to find the fucking VIN number ‘to the right of the centre pillar at the base’…..erm no, it was on the fucking dash, I couldn’t see it because I am a short arse and their was a ticket in the way of the little window they now display the VIN number in (by this point I am on the phone to Jim as I have run out of data on my phone so couldn’t google myself, also didn’t help he said ‘on the right’ I was looking on the right but inside the fucking engine!! it was the right the other way round!!!) so I stretch in the car over the steering wheel but short arms and big boobs don’t mix, get in the other side, manage to flick the ticket out the way and ‘boom!’ it’s there! so I trudge back to the bloody post office, they tried telling me I would need to send it away with a postal order by this point I was ready to blow but I managed the best resting bitch face I could, through my wonky teeth, I said “I’ve called them three times and they said I have to pay here”, thankfully all sense prevailed and five minutes later, £25 down, I have sent away for my new log book (that I have to fucking change again in two weeks time!) and my car is finally legal again. fucking hell I need a gin and diet coke after all that