Who the fudge is she?!

About me?! woah!! slow down, we’ve just met!!

Seriously though, I am 37 years of age, fast approaching 40 and I am almost married for the second time (much to the delight of my mother who I am sure is so fucking disappointed in me that my first marriage didn’t last the course, the only thankful thing is she adores my boyf…..fiance!!)

Who am I? well I am a girl (I know this I have boobies), I have three boys (well two are teenagers now but they are still boys right? not sure these days they resemble some kind of humans but what kind I have no idea, Kevin the teenager is probably a good example of my eldest now “I’m the only one who does anything!” walking like an ape with his spotty forehead as he swings his arms…..love him really!! I also have two almost official step children and finally I HAVE GIRL I CAN GO SHOPPING WITH!!

I moved from a sleepy village in Kent (why are they sleepy, I imagine loads of people with those sleep hats on wandering about with blankets) to Harlow, Essex last July, since then with the exception of having a rather wonderful fella at my side things have gone from bad to worse but I’ll talk about that another time (apologises if there is ever an A missing my A key sticks!)

I am on the large side, I am short and I honestly cannot remember what colour hair I have, it’s a shade of ginge at the moment but other than that, I have no idea under all the bleach and the red I’ve been trying to get rid of for a couple of months, soon it will be three toned and I we look like a ginger badger.

Anyway that’s ‘about me’…you will find out more as we go forward with #shitlivesmatter

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